Development of confidence in conscious mind feels like seizing of responsibility but in fact denies insight of subconscious. Lose sight of bodily awareness, interconnectivity, interdependence, mutual recognition, vulnerability, love, meaning, life. Feeling like embracing own power + responsibility in fact denies huge aspect of own power and as result own responsibility. In seizing control you give up power, by taking the position of god you don't take responsibility for a bigger world, you restrict your world to that which you can create.
Second off I've been contemplating further my dog, Winston, and how much value he has been to me. I've realized in my goals for his training I set goals for myself, and in watching him conduct himself through life he's set an example to me that has reconnected me with the deep insight and wisdom of my more hidden inner self, the subconscious mind. I saw him run through the woods like he did and it reminded me of me as a child. His reflexes, his instincts, his power, it all comes so naturally to him because he lets it. He lived as an example for me, but he also lived as an outlet for me. I treated him better than I could treat myself. I poured my heart and soul into him, and he's poured back. Damn good dog. His princess bride arrives monday. I think this is extra interesting because of the way my great grandfather related to dogs. As a welshman he was training collies for sheep in the hills and was known to be very good at it, putting on shows in the countryside. I think perhaps I learned from him. That made it into me somehow, dogs came very naturally to me. And they have given me more than I ever expected. I think the biggest part was I learned to trust Winston completely. And then at some level I recognized what he was operating on was a free connection to this mind below my conscious rational, the subconscious, and he got to prove how beautiful was over and over to let it flow through him. By doing so he helped me get there. Dogs rule.
I think this is a big contribution to PTSD dogs as working dogs. The feeling of something outside of you you can trust completely lets you not just learn to trust the dogs but to trust the world... Something tells me there's a hint of common ground between not what I've experienced but the patterns in my head of reaction to some soldiers with PTSD. That is CERTAINLY a hypothesis and I do not aim to claim knowledge or experience of the like of war on here, just an attempt to empathize and understand that. Maybe my work with dogs should relate to PTSD working dogs too. Maybe this experience has let me understand that relation better..Just more to think about.
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