Stopping By

Hi everyone,

That last post took a lot out of me haha. I feel like I vented a lot of what I had to say in that, and had a couple days of processing and adjusting to deal with before I came back. It was interesting, I think spilling all that out of me mentally almost provided a direct physical release of tension. Following that post I really got caught up in stretching and borderline-meditation, for about 6 hours steady I was almost exclusively focused inward and at my body and sorting out tension and issues. I kept the same up the next day, stretching as long and vigorously as I could handle before then contrast showering, keeping the body at very high temperature while stretching. The changes I was able to make were remarkable, and very satisfying.

I'm feeling good now. It helped alot when my Dad got back and I got to talk to him. More and more my plans moving forward get clearer and feel more possible. Everything is very dynamic now and constantly changing, or I'd be sharing more, but as I bring more of these ideas to reality I will share them more.

The one thing that's a bit of a stress/concern right now is 2 weeks today I have my second MRI. This is one of those objective, decisive moments. At the first one there was no sign of growth but no sign of shrinkage. This MRI could go either way, all my subjective observations about how I feel could either be backed up with serious effects and progress or discounted by a dull lump sitting just the same size or even growing. If it hasn't shrinked that doesn't mean too much either way. It might not shrink at all even by the end, but even if that was the case it could be stopped from growing, and held against that wall a long time. The only thing that would be really bad is if there was even a tiny sign of growth. At that point more serious confrontations will thrust upon us very quickly. The chances of that do feel very slim though, and all evidence thus far points against it. Rational objective knowledge aside, I will certainly feel my anxiety levels creep up on me as I approach closer and closer to that moment of recognition.

Trick will be to keep busy and have as much fun as possible! I'm stuck in town for a day today, but I'll hopefully see some friends and take care of a few useful things. For now though I'm playing the new Batman game. So cool.

Later