Well, snap, it's been a while. It's been a very interesting experience lately. I've found since I got the good news of that Oncologist meeting I've felt like I have less to say/less to share but my brain has been racing. I've opened up huge parts of myself I'd sealed off to protect myself from the pain of losing them. I've been unleashing a torrent of happiness and hope and dreams upon myself and in the act of doing so opening myself back up to risk of pain, sorrow, heartbreak, and loss. Damn does it ever feel good. I didn't realize just how much I'd accepted my mortality prior to that piece of positive news. I do know, and always remind myself, than 10% of a tumour gone is a LONG way from cancer cured, but progress in the right direction has been a mind blowing experience.
Something funny I've realized lately is I've wanted to blog less because I feel like I'd be bragging. I mean I'm still on chemo but with all the other stuff going on in my life, reconnections with friends and family, new people, great experiences, opening up a future with incredible potential, and the generosity I continue to take in are amazing. I feel incredibly lucky these days and am just happy as a pig in shit non stop.
One thing that's brought about as a central focus though is to not let my guard down. A hint of progress in the right direction doesn't mean the war is won, it just means there is potential to do some damage and hold down the fort longer. I really need to make sure to not get cocky and forget how much help and work it took to get this. It's time to use this as a foundation to move into a healthier, more open life not as a brief look at the light and then stumbling back into darkness.
So on that note, I'll get into talking about the way I've been eating and how I've been figuring that out more. When I consider how ridiculously different it is from the way I was eating before this all started I realize it has to be doing something for me in this. I've switched almost to a vegetarian diet with meat as a (delicious) supplementary nutrition part. In saying that I don't mean I don't eat meat, just that for other than meat I realized I've copied a bunch of veg muncher tricks to add to nutritional density. Salad with nuts and fruit and goat cheese, hummus til my head explodes, seeds, nuts and oils up the yin yang. One of my clutch meals the nutritionist seemed impressed with was my POWERNUT SMOOTHIE OF POWER
How I'd recommend making it depends a bit on the blender. With a normal blender it's still very doable, just a tiny bit more expensive. The recipe though is pretty basic.
1. Raw nuts: a bunch. This is the part to switch for other blenders. All peanut peanut butter was my original, then I started mixing in almond butter. Best way to get these at a reasonable price I've found is Costco. In the grocery store it's crazy expensive. If you get a heavy duty blender though raw nuts can be fully blended into the smoothie and you can up the nutrition of it by getting a larger variety (mmm cashews).
2. Almond milk: a bit. Or switch it up with some nice whole milk.
3. Hemp seeds: 1tsp-1tbsp
4. Flax seeds: 1tsp-1tbsp
5. Hemp Oil: 1 squirt (not the type that gets you high)
7. Coconut Oil 1tbsp
8. 1 Banana
9. 1 scoop chocolate whey (or your choice of chocolate protein)
Blend it up, and enjoy. Some tricks that can help are adding ice to help it be colder, and the ice will melt while it blends so also make it more liquid. If you don't mind it being warm, just add more of your milk of choice until it seems the right thickness for you.
The other smoothie of power I rely on a lot is a berry based alternative that's pretty similar. Take out the nuts and chocolate protein, replace them with berries and some nice full fat greek yogurt (plain), and a bit of vanilla whey (not a full scoop usually, too sweet). I switch up details on them a lot, with the type of nuts in, the amounts of the supplementary nutrition parts, and even including some. I don't try to eat the same thing every day or even every week. I've noticed my body seems to want different things at different times and I try to look after it. I mean yesterday I ate probably an acre of field worth of salad and goat cheese. Lately as well I've noticed I want fat more and more as my diet changes. I have had moments where I've felt like biting a stick of butter ( I haven't, I promise). I definitely have been keeping on the 1g/day of fish oil and might even take it up some. My only concern with how much meat has come down in my diet lately is getting enough protein, but my response to that has been on my week off from chemo I load up pretty big on it while my stomach is less sensitive. It's going to be interesting to see where my diet levels off to after chemo is done.
There is really a lot more for me to talk about. I think now that I wrote again here, I can tap into this kind of stuff more. I'll try to build the picture more of how I've been dealing with chemo, and also the story of how I ended up here. For right now though, time to get back out there and get in touch with the second part of this blog's name.
Much love
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